Fresh Air

At 50 years of age, I often find myself looking backwards and wondering how things might have turned out if I had turned left versus right at crucial moments during my life. Of course, I’ll never know what would have happened, but it’s an amusing pastime.

Most often I’m intrigued about how my life would have progressed if I had chosen a different occupation. I ended up in psychology research, but my heart was really into journalism and social work. There just doesn’t seem to be enough productive years in a lifetime to do two or maybe three careers. And getting the necessary education, whether that be a master’s or even just a bachelor’s, has become very expensive for one career let alone getting the training for a second or “encore” career. Somehow making a career switch for the sake of love and happiness just isn’t so feasible in these difficult economic times.

So what do you do if you need some fresh air in your life? If you can’t change jobs, you can change your recreational activities or volunteer at your local zoo, school or hospital. You’ll meet new people who are doing things that are new to you. You’ll be refreshed, and you’ll probably make friends too.

For the most part, retirement gives one “refreshing” opportunities to do things close to one’s heart. You’ll be amazed at how many things or ideas interest you when the stress and strain of working drops away from your life.

I may not have another paying job, but my interests and hobbies are taking me on exciting adventures whether it’s “chatting” on email listservs or blogging to a community dear to my heart. I sorta get to be the social worker/journalist I always wanted to be. You see, I’m a volunteer now. And you know, in a way, it’s a whole lot easier when you don’t get paid.

Ah…Let’s Go Shopping, Dear!

You know the saying that when “the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Well, my partner and I have a different take on it: We go shopping. Now we did this a lot more ten years ago before the economy went south and we hit our 50’s with its mounting pressures to save for retirement. But lately, it’s getting so tough that maybe we might put off saving a bit for retirement and indulge in some immediate gratification.

Nowadays shopping is so easy. The stores just about grab you through the Internet and barrage you with mailed catalogues. You know how it goes: hard to make the money and so easy to spend it (and so fast too). But now we’re all seeing the virtues of frugality and demonizing gross consumerism. I’ve tightened my belt too. I just don’t look anymore. It’s like giving up chocolate or wine. After a while you only faintly and intellectually miss it like a fading memory of good times. Oh well.

I just wish that I had appreciated my shopping vice more when I practiced it years ago. At the time, the shopping sprees were all part of the whirlwind as we all floated along on a false sense of prosperity. But the Great Recession has sobered me up; I too have lowered my expectations, or my standards, as we all come to grips with the “new normal” economy.

So now instead of “going shopping”, I attempt to create things that I can sell. Actually, Kathleen and I play around with book ideas, story ideas or just about anything you can do with a computer and two minds. Who knows, maybe an idea will pan out and bring in some extra cash. If not, we’ll have some fun at being creative. Heck, it sure beats TV.

Calamity Du Jour

“Well, these are our specials: We have an earthquake on Tuesday and a hurricane on Saturday. Not to be out-done by Vermont's flooding, the next week we have our own flooding after three days of torrential rains. And then, our grand special is the "credible but unconfirmed" terrorist threat for the 10th anniversary of 9/11. All specials come with all-you-can-eat media hype and a souvenir flashlight for any emergency situation."

Our "specials" in DC, or as I like to call it "ground zero", can really work one's nerves. If the disaster isn't political, it's natural. Or at least it is lately. And then, we're just blessed with the entire country's scorn. If the country just knew how hard some of the country's best minds were at work in DC, maybe the country’s expectations would be on a human scale and not that of a Hollywood movie. But everyone expects magic while no one understands how it works.

I just hope that tomorrow's “specials” are side dishes and not dinner entrees because DC needs to go on a calamity diet.

F-A-T-I-G-U-E

We are all knee-deep into the second week of the US Open (Tennis), and I'm starting to experience Tennis F-A-T-I-G-U-E. It's a condition brought on by prolonged exposure to endless tennis matches, often during a Grand Slam Tennis Tournament. I've been watching tennis for many days now---all day, every day and most of the night. And when Tennis Channel dropped out, I picked up my laptop and started live streaming matches. You could say I'm into the Open.

And I'm only on Day 8. We've got a few more days to go. Guess I'm just going to have to take a break from my obsessional behavior. So I'll miss some great tennis, some historic tie-breaks or stupendous sets. It’s just too bad for me. Anyway, everything is starting to all look alike to me. And, I'm starting to get to know the players too well. When I start making comments about their clothes more than their last play, I know I'm burning out.

So what do I do? Do my errands? Is that enough of a distraction? For one thing, we'll have to put a moratorium on all talk about tennis. Guess the car rides will be quiet. Well, maybe it's on the car radio...it isn't. No way around it---I'm just going to have to go through tennis withdrawal for an hour or two.

BTW do you know of anything else going on in the world today?

I Love This Sport

One of my favorite things is happening...the US Open (Tennis) in New York City. We went to it in 2004, and Oh My God...it was like a Disneyland for tennis junkies. More tennis being played than you can imagine. And more tennis superstars than you'll ever see in any one place in the USA.

Usually we watch the Open from our living room. Kathleen at work is known for taking off the second week of the Open for her vacation. At home she sets herself up from the vantage point of our living room couch and watches match after match on all the channels broadcasting the Open: ESPN, The Tennis Channel and CBS. She even sets up her laptop so she can watch two matches at the same time. As if that's not enough engagement, my dearest is also busy knitting yet another sweater, with of course the cats requiring attention intermittently. And she complains she never does anything!

Meanwhile I'm keeping an eye on my favorite champions and watching also for the next up-and-comer-superstar. I predicted Nadal would be a winner, but my crystal ball has been murky for women's tennis. Well, so has a lot of other people's lately.

But this year's eyes are all on Serena Williams. She's a fierce champion and an American, which are two things both the media and the public love. She also can be quite theatrical, and her presence adds some excitement to the whole Open. Tennis has never been sedate when Serena plays.

If Serena stays healthy, she probably is your best bet for the women's side. I don't know what kind of odds Vegas has on her, but you'll probably make more than even money. However, at this point, there's been so much hype about Serena returning triumphantly to win the Open that we may be convinced she already has done so before she steps out on the Women's Final Match court.

A lot of matches have yet to be played. So I'm taking a wait and see approach before handing Serena the US Open trophy. Actually, I'd rather be surprised by an under-rated underdog winning the Open, wouldn't you?

A One-Night Stand with Irene

You know, I've never known any Irenes until now. And now she's coming to our town with everyone's undivided attention. For about 24 hours or a little more than one night, Hurricane Irene is going to move through my life (and everyone else's) and leave who-knows-what-in-her-wake. It's so like those romances (well, one-night stands) we all indulged in when we were still sowing our wild oats.

But this Irene is different. I just had to buy my one-night stands a drink or two or maybe at most dinner and a movie. Hurricane Irene requires "emergency supplies". This means non-perishable food, gallons of water, radios, batteries and candles---and that's just the basics. Furthermore, it takes days to prepare for her while you're constantly trying to catch the latest news about her arrival.

But it's certain that she's arriving since she's a force of nature and we live in her "projected path." We know she's going to turn off the lights (and the power!). So we busy ourselves with tasks that require electricity since our power company was so "kind" to phone us with the news that there would be extended power outages. Such service!

This Irene may be the most memorable one-night stand I'll ever have. I'm sure she'll be beautiful, powerful and damn scary. No wonder they named this hurricane after a woman.

Fresh at the Farmers’ Market

We have a Saturday morning ritual: We go to the farmers' market. We used to go on Sundays, but the market in our neighboring town was a zoo! It was so crowded that I got pushed to the side-lines. Granted our neighboring town’s market has mostly organic fruits, vegetables, breads, meats and cheeses, and our town’s market mostly doesn't. But I can actually shop, pick and choose my produce at our farmers’ market, which is the whole point, isn't it? And, I regret to report this---our neighboring town’s market brought out the rudest behavior in people. Lots of pushing and shoving...Sorry everyone…I just can't get into it over tomatoes, corn and peaches.

So now we go to our town’s market. It's quite nice and located in the downtown plaza. Sometimes they even have a band playing (and not too loud!). The produce is fresh, local and very much in-season. The people seem cool and laid-back. And now I no longer have anxieties about being mowed down by somebody seeking tomatoes or flowers. It's such a happening and happy place that I took some video of the market, which I have yet to edit. (Maybe someday I'll get video on this blog too!)

Did I mention that Kathleen LOVES shopping at the farmers' market? She never forgets her re-usable canvas bags and smiles the whole way through the market. Afterwards, she tells me over and over again how we got "some good food."

I'm happy too for the opportunity to be mingling and shopping with my neighbors. The market on the plaza has become a meeting place for long lost friends and colleagues. Somehow it seems more likely to meet like-minded friends at the farmers' market.

I guess shopping at the farmers' market is now the "thing to do," and we're doing it too. Will you?

Hiss n' Spit

Ever see a real cat fight? It ain't pretty! About every month or so our cats wrestle and do a little hissing and spitting. Nothing too alarming. Actually, I think our alpha cat, Perrier, is just re-asserting her dominance. Meanwhile, Evian doesn't just roll over but puts up a little fight to maintain her dignity. Or maybe they're both just blowing off steam from living together all the time (they're indoor cats). But then, really who knows what motivates cats...?

Actually, Kathleen and I aren't that different from the cats. For the most part we get along well through life's trials and tribulations. But even we snap now and then. And fight like cats, hissing and spitting at each other. After being together 15 years, I think both of us feel pretty confident that the relationship will survive the fight. At least I hope so...

But then there's nothing like a good fight to clear the air. As long as you fight fair and know when to stop. Often in the middle of a blowing-off-steam-from-stress-fight, Kathleen and I catch a glimpse of ourselves and start laughing. We realize that we're really fighting over nothing. Or what we are fighting about is so trivial that it doesn't merit the emotion or the volume.

And then we make up---and somehow like the cats, life just goes on---and we often go out to Starbucks. Before you know it we’re drinking lattes and laughing. And in time, all’s well again.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I've always had the expectation that life would be smooth sailing. But all through my life I've run into obstacles and blamed myself for them. I believed that I was the cause of the obstacles and that something was wrong with me. Something like I either must have a lot of bad karma to work through or like "life" is just supposed to be perfect, isn't it?

But I've lived and learned that one person's perfect is another person's hell. So maybe all those obstacles, or road blocks and detours, were guidance in a very indirect way. Oh, my will has been thwarted many a time. And I'll never know how things might have turned out if I had gotten my way. But at least at 50 years of age, I now know when to avoid, ignore and generally find some positive way to cope with life's obstacles and set-backs.

The learning curve isn't so steep anymore either. And I feel no compulsion to live a "perfect" life. I may not take life's obstacles in stride, but I'm less likely to curse myself or the gods.

I guess I can finally mount my Ganesh mask to a wall in my living room. Ganesh is an Indian god who is a remover of obstacles. Kathleen found the mask when she traveled to San Francisco on business. I don't think Ganesh eliminates the obstacles. He just makes me more comfortable removing them.

I needed an Indian god to teach me that obstacles will always appear in life. Now my "perfect" life includes even obstacles.

Nap Time

You know you're squarely into middle age when you look forward to your naps. Personally, I'm not a big napper. Now I like a good lie-down while listening to the radio now and then, but as far as going unconscious for long stretches of time I'm just not your girl. Oh, I like sleep, but I prefer thinking or really zoning to a long nap.

Now I've found that some people actually nap for hours, and they even schedule it into their afternoon's weekend activities. You've got to be real close to a person before they'll tell you about their nap schedule. Often they'll just be "busy" in the afternoons a lot. Or always. Sometimes you don't find out about the "napping" until you move in together when it, well, becomes obvious.

I know all this because I live with a Sleeping Beauty. She's a real sleeper. Hours upon hours of sleep. And she’s practically nocturnal too. She's like the cats. They sleep all afternoon, and so does she when she naps.

Every once in a while I try out this nap thing. The most I get is 45-60 minutes and then I'm up. It's just not for me. I'd rather listen to music while playing mahjongg on the computer. I guess I'm just not a napper. I'm a zoner. What are you?