Fresh Paint and Pads of Paper

I've done a lot of creative things since I've retired. Some involve making images out of paint or dye. And others have been about writing, as in this blog. I like moving between images and words; it keeps my brain balanced. So why now when I'm going gang-busters with my writing am I drawn to paint again?

Several on-line advertisements for paint sales at art stores have been catching my eye and stirring my imagination. It's been over four years since I painted in my studio (an upstairs bedroom in my home). Somehow the reasons why I stopped painting don't feel as compelling now. Maybe after this hiatus I could start again. But so much has happened since I last painted. I'm different now...So maybe the painting will be different and a little more fresh.

Years ago I painted everyday on paper, using bottles of acrylic paint. I did abstract expressionistic art. And I squirted bottles of paint however and whichever way I was so moved. I squirted fast and furious and mostly spontaneously. I made a lot of bad art but a few keepers too. I even donated a painting to a charity's gala, and it fetched a modest amount at the silent auction.

But somehow after showing and then selling one piece I just didn't know what my next mountain to climb was. Granted I could honestly tell people that I was an artist. But my internal drives were now flat. I had a bad case of "So now what?"

So maybe I'll suffer through the awkward stages of beginning all over again. Yet another thing to put on my Xmas list. New paint and huge pads of watercolor paper to keep me occuppied in the cold and cloudy months after Solstice. I could look forward to that.

For Art’s Sake

Have you ever wanted to be a painter and live on the Left Bank in Paris? Well I have. So I just decided to teach myself how to paint. For me it was just like the Nike slogan, "Just Do It."
I used up a tremendous amount of paint and paper. My discovery process required making a lot of mistakes. Some mistakes were moments of serendipity where I had an "Ah-Ha". But most moments were just the makings of bad art---no grace or beauty about it. But I persisted, and with each and every attempt I became even more charged up about painting.

Finally, I had a breakthrough in technique, and voila I produced two or three paintings I could put up on my home's walls. (Kathleen has been a very supportive partner who has been willing to live with my art. She's wonderfully kind.)

Since boldness has always been my strong suit, I decided to share my work with the world. I choose to show at Artomatic. It's a non-juried show, so I didn't have to worry about not being "good enough." I just had to worry about being "bold enough" to do it. Well, I debuted in the 2004 show, and several other artists liked my paintings. I had accomplished my goal: paint and show. Now I needed to show and sell---much harder to do.

Meanwhile I kept buying enough paint and paper to fund a third world country. It was using up most of my discretionary income, but I was hooked on painting. I produced a few more presentable paintings and got an opportunity to be a part of a staff art show where I worked. Showing at work was like coming out as an artist to people who only thought they knew me. And since my work is abstract expressionism, they really saw a side of me that I hadn't "shown" them before. Despite my anxieties, everything went well. I now had two shows under my belt.

Finally, I got my big break. I donated a painting to a charity's gala, and my painting sold for a modest amount. But unfortunately, by then, I had painted myself out of money. And I'm still looking for another good job so that I can afford to paint again.

But above all else, my painting odyssey gave me confidence in myself. While I hope to do it again soon, if I can't, I am satisfied with the time I had with my painting---She was a lovely mistress, and she taught me some of my first lessons on becoming a Renaissance woman.