The Black and White Keys

I had some music education my first year in high school. I went over to my best friend's (and later my first crush) house and sat down at her family's baby grand piano. It was lovely. And my best friend at 14 taught me to read music and peck out a melody to sing.

I was never really any good. But just good enough to sing alto in the high school concert choir. I barely auditioned and got into the choir. So I sang with the altos and my best friend sang with the sopranos. More than notes separated us now. She had slept over and I made a "pass" that was rebuffed. So afterwards, I didn't go to her piano anymore. Instead, I ding-dong my father to get us our own.

I don't know how my mother and I did it but we convinced my father to buy a beautiful upright piano that to this day still has a wonderful sound and looks like an attractive piece of furniture. And so, both my mother and I took piano lessons from this suburban lady. She was nice and my guide into mysterious lands and adventures. I studied for almost 2 years. My interests changed to getting into college and without my best friend's encouraging hands guiding my hands over the keys, my interest just waned.

But I still loved to play this one piece, Moonlight Sonata. I even memorized the easy version and played it for my Grandma Fay (she was the jewish one). Now you must understand that Grandma Fay was very frank with her opinions. After I finished playing she said, "Very nice, but could you play something a little happier?" I was floored. I thought I was all grown-up and serious. Now Grandma Fey wants silly and happy! Adults! Who can understand them!"

It's been now over 30 years since I tried to play the piano. But I've been wanting one. Couldn't afford an upright so I got a keyboard. I hope again to play with the help and guidance of a piano teacher. This one is a gift to myself. Totally for me!!!

Early Spring

Yesterday was St. Paddy's day and in two days will be the Vernal Equinox. Is Spring really here? This morning when I was wiping the dusting of last night's snow off my windshield I wasn't quite so sure. I mean I live below the Mason-Dixon line and definitely not up "north". But March is a dicey month for weather in these parts. At least we've got longer days of light when it isn't raining and overcast.

But enough about the weather. I feel Spring. And the early blooming cherry tree across the road from my house is in a shock of pink. I open my front door and look up and there it is in all its majesty. And then there's all those little perky crocuses across my front lawn. Baby flowers but they are brave enough to weather the still near-freezing nights. And then there's all the budding trees casting dots of color against still bare tree limbs.

All of these are the first signs of early Spring outside. Inside our houses we start to clean (or in my case call-in the cleaning people). The bright white sunlight on clear days inspires us to even de-clutter the most messy rooms (for me that's my studio----I'm still waiting for a day over 60 degrees and sunny. Think I'll get that day soon?)

Soon all the flowers and trees will be in bloom. We'll have another Cherry Blossum Festival. And just maybe I'll get to see the Kite Festival on the Mall too.

But most of all Spring is a wonderful time for renewal (and I hear a great time to eat chocolate bunnies too!!!!) Maybe I'll take photos of this Spring. Just something to remind me when its grey and wet and raw outside.

Never Been Good at Spelling

I love music and I listen to it constantly but I've never been good at spelling. I'll even confess to getting bad marks to it in grade school. So what have I done about it? I've read dictionaries. I've even collected them. I'm very proud of my two volume Oxford English Dictionary that has such small print it is accompanied with a magnifying glass which now I use all the time.

And lo and behold there's now an online game for my problem. Scrabble or Facebook's Words With Friends is perfect for me. It's a word game, a spelling game and sorta a crossword game. And I love games. When I was younger I loved to win. Now I just love to play.

I've been playing Facebook's Words With Friends for a couple of weeks now. I've been playing mostly with my former colleagues and a dear cousin too. I never knew how brillant they all were. And my dear Kathleen has started playing too. They all beat me but I just love the game. And the more I play the better I get. I actually got a seven-letter word yesterday.

So of course I bought the Scrabble dictionary. I'll be reading it. Just to bone up on those hard letters to use and all the two-letter words.

In the meanwhile we all play. Kathleen and I played for almost the entire weekend. Hey, it's a great thing to do when it's cold outside. We listened to all nine of Beethoven's Symphonies while we played so we weren't lacking in culture either.

Is this a beginning of a craze or maybe this winter's fad? Either way, I'm having a blast!!!

Being One's Own Brand

When I was coming out in the 80's, we all wanted to look like lesbians because it was important for us to be able to identify each other. Well, it seems to me that our look practically became a brand with cars, shoes, hairstyles and clothiers all associated with lesbians (or at least they were to ourselves.) We happily IDed each other and built a system of recognition that helped give us visibility to the media and the mainstream. And finally, we are getting more and more of our civil rights.

So what's wrong?

I for one got tired of looking like every other lesbian. I wanted an individual identity and "look" instead of the group brand.

So I'm breaking away from the brand. First hair styles changed, next shoes and clothes and maybe I'll consider buying a car that's not stereotypically a "lesbian car" like a Subaru.

Now there are risks with breaking away from the brand. No one at first sight may recognize me as gay. I remedy that by telling them. It means a lot more coming out. But I get to look like I want.

So I guess I'm breaking away from the lesbian brand. Instead I'm creating my own brand for myself.

I'm calling this new brand "Diane."

What's The Weather Like

You might say I'm percolating. No I'm not making coffee. I'm making something creative. And as a writer it's not just putting language down on the page. Oh that's important, some would say critical. But the creative process also involves the often unseen "inner" work beforehand.

For me my mood and my writing is heavily influenced by the weather. Basically I've never left the sunny weather of Southern California. It suppose to be 75 degrees and sunny. That's my inner norm. Everything else is something "different." While living in Washington, DC we've had blizzards, hurricanes, tornados and the ever occurant thunderstorms. And then the ordinary days of rain, sleet, snow, hail and wind (with an occasionally sunny day). So you see I've had a lot of different moods from all that weather.

All this DC weather has made me a more interesting person. I believe that the 75F and sunny weather of Southern California would have have lacked inspiration. (The sheer predictability, you know?!?!?) I only really long for LA weather when its in the teens and snowing 2 feet from a blizzard.

So it's almost the end of winter and the time of rebirth is almost upon us. Spring offers all sorts of new energies and opportunities. My hibernation and "percolating" will be done for a few months.

I'm looking forward to seeing what comes up this spring. And of course what's the weather like.

Misfit or Popular Kid?

Have you ever been popular? Did you run with the popular kids in high school or in college? I hung out with the misfits in high school only to find myself as a popular lesbian in college.

My experience as a misfit taught me to live my life on my own terms. So that when I came out as gay I was emotionally prepared to be my own person. And to hell with everyone else and their petty small-mindedness anyway.

So that's how it went with me. When I came of age at 22 and as a popular lesbian, my devil-may-care attitude made me a little dangerous (and a little desirable too.) But mostly, being a popular and out lesbian meant I didn't have a lot of competition. It wasn't like lesbians were rushing sororities in those days. We only had gay and lesbian groups and newspapers. And I was the editor of one of those newspapers. My position gave me some visibility and a vehicle for my thoughts.

Those years of popularity made an impression on my young psyche. I "believed" myself likable, desireable and intelligent. I had no idea how vain I was. I just thought I was confident. Actually, it was like I went through an "ego-building boot camp" that would help me endure the hostilities that I would encounter outside the UCLA campus and the world beyond.

But the one thing I still have from those popular days is a personal sense of specialness. Everyone should be popular for a while just to feel that special. And if we're lucky that special feeling lasts a lifetime.

While We Wait

I'm losing track of which day it is. It happens in retirement or so I've heard from the old timers. I'm not worried about losing track too badly because I have Kathleen who is working Monday through Friday every week. Kinda keeps me on track, if you know what I mean. Any way this is coming off as very spacey which is not my intention. Just my unfortunate effect.

Winter...I never get over it or in any way master the season. The climate brings me to my knees and the psychology of living with people who are confined for months would inspire me to art if I wasn't so depressed and just downright emotionally cold. But that's the climate here in the Mid-Atlantic. It's given to extremes. No wonder the local people are stoic and act like soldiers.

I've never been a soldier. On my mother's side of our family, my grandfather died in WWII and has been the last in a long line of soldiers dating back from the American Revolution. So I guess I've got soldiering in my genes but not in my heart.

So when Spring arrives I write and when the light is good, I paint abstract art. I hope to express myself well, humourously, and to a few of your likings.

But in the meanwhile I wait for March. March is the beginning of my new creative year. And It can't get here soon enough!!!

Weather in Paradise

These cold temps just freak me out. I was born and raised in Southern California where it very rarely dipped below freezing temps (and when they did we all worried about the fruit and vegetable crops---would they survive?) Here it is skating around feeling like 0 degrees this morning. Damn cold where you get frostbite if you're exposed for a spell. But everyone says it is "Just Cold!!!" and it is the only topic of the news for today and tomorrow.

Okay, so I'll bundle up and go out when I must but it is so uncomfortable. I guess I'm just a "weather wimp." because I remember what the weather was like in paradise.

It was 82 degrees in LA yesterday.

Passing on the Role of Cinderella

Yup, Obama is going to be sworn in Monday January 21th. But geez that election was waaay too close for my comfort zone. But now the partying begins. We got invites to 3 Balls and 1 Gala which sounds wonderful. But I'm afraid we are going to have to pass on all of them.

These Balls are major fund-raising events. Basically, you spend a small fortune to go to their party. It's a huge social networking opportunity if you're into politics or life in DC, Virginia or Maryland. Since we don't get out much and mostly interface with the world through our laptops and credit cards, I'm thinking that we can pass on the opportunity for facetime with the DC social elite.

Quite frankly the Women's Ball in 97' that Kathleen and I attended was somewhat disappointing. President Clinton didn't show up. And while we looked fabulous in white tuxedos, other people just dressed up a little or just more of the DC drab attire. We left the event unimpressed and bored. So we're not eager to repeat the experience.

If only we were Cinderella and this was all a fairy tale...

Happy New Year to Everyone

So it's New Year's Eve and you're wondering what to do. Well, while you're waiting for some inspiration watch these fireworks with some champagne or apple cider:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkAwq2_9Ndg

And Happy New Year's dear readers. Because life is really wonderful. Indeed!

With laughter,
Diane