Purge!

You know how one or two rooms in your house become the junk rooms? Clutter, stuff and just junk find themselves in "that" room. Our basement has really become our room for the junk and the discarded. (We also have one or two more rooms that are well on their way to junk room status.) Well, we've decided to stem the tide and bring our basement back from the brink.

We're pros at clutter. We have the bad habits of not putting things away right away. Things just find a place and "live" there. No table surface or inch of carpet is safe. It gets so bad that to "put things away" involves major neogoiations on "where things belong." This often becomes a serious relationship building experience. It's not just about your stuff and my stuff, but what the heck are we going to do with "our" stuff.

But back to the basement: we realized we couldn't spend time there without a risk to our health. (It got so dusty and dirty that Kathleen took to wearing a mask so she could breathe.) We both then realized we had to do something right away. The next step was to work out the finances of the clean-up.

I had tried to give away our sofa and love seat, but no charity would haul it away because the cats had clawed the sofas' arms. So I was stuck with convincing Kathleen to pay for the 1-800-Got-Junk people to just take the sofas away for a fee. Well they took the sofas away last week without stress, without holes in the walls and without any breakage. They did a great job. I'd use them again!

Now I'm waiting for Maid Brigade to come and clean the basement, which will be mostly dusting and vacuumning (a lot of both). After this is done, it's carpet cleaning time for the cat accidents and a general cleaning of the basement and the entire house.

We should be in pretty clean shape after all of this. Next task is clearing out old clothes to give away to charity. I'm even going to go through our bookcases and give away most of our books (minus our art, cooking and reference books).

We've lived in our house for over 12 years. And I'm sure we have brought more stuff in than we have hauled out. So the stuff has built up. And most of what we have we don't use anymore. So we'll give some stuff to charity and offer up the rest on Freecycle. And what we can't recycle, reuse or repurpose, we'll pitch into the trash or landfill.

So trust me, if there's hope for a clean and clutter-free house for us, there's definitely hope for you too!

It's OK, Sally. RIP

Sally Ride and her choice to live a closeted gay life reminds me of so many lesbians I've known of her generation. If you wanted a career and were very ambitious as a woman in the 1960s to the 2000s, most professional middle-class lesbians did not come out publicly. They channeled their energies into their work because that was enough of an uphill fight. Their personal life (if they had one) they kept on the low-down. Only those of us who chose to be political and cultural activists came out publicly. In the last decade everyone is coming out, and the sheer numbers of out people supports those who are now out. There wasn't such strength in numbers in the 1970s to the 1990s. So staying in the closet wasn't a matter of cowardice but of sheer survival.

I hope we can be kind to Sally Ride for staying in the closet. Her mission was to reach for the stars. It's a shame that her time and society couldn't also accept her love for a woman.

Get Me Out of the Box!!!

Several years ago I kept hearing about getting out of the box or just thinking outside the box. Well, I started to think about boxes, how many are in my life and in the world where I live. I mean almost everything is a box: your house, your stores, your car or even your fridge.  And if you're really into diagrams I bet you could create a box for your job, your partner and your cat. The box is a paradign that is just about everywhere.
 
But as I often think about lesbians and our culture, I realized that we have quite masterfully created our own boxes for our own unqiue culture. There's the ordinary boxes of butch and femme, but for our sexuality and our relationships, we even have more labels and their corresponding boxes than the mainstream culture has for straight people. Perhaps it's because we have so much in common with each other and yet so little in common with each other too. Or to put it another way:  just because we are everywhere doesn't mean we are all alike.
 
Many of us look for our lesbian sub-group and often find common interests and identities. We find our box. A few of us create our own boxes. And dare I say, the enlightened ones skip the boxes and just wing it through life.

Hurry Up! It's Almost the Dog Days!!!

Well, it's already hot and humid. That's for sure. But I got smart this year. I'm getting my summer wardrobe on summer clearance. Big markdowns and awesome sales on just about everything. I guess people are still pretty tight when it comes to buying clothes. Not me! I got a little money, and I'm having fun with summer fashions.

I especially like seersucker big shirts in bright colors. Not subdued butch colors for me. Bring on the hot pinks and oranges. I'm retired. I can wear anything I want. Hell, I wore tie-dye for over two years. Hot pink really isn't a shocker, is it?

Nah, I'm at that age when older women don't care what you all think about us. If it pleases me, I'll wear it or do it. It's quite liberating, you know. Wish I had this attitude when I was younger. Boy would I have made up some trouble back then. Well never mind, I'm going to wear hot pink and look like a fantastic lesbian!

So what are you wearing for the dog days? Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll look fabulous too!!!

Too Many Choices!!!

There's just too many choices out there. I guess I'm a basic person; I like maybe 3 to 5 choices. But the marketers have just gone crazy with all of these choices. Case in point: Kathleen and I went pillow shopping the other night. Well, we found an entire section of Bed, Bath & Beyond dedicated to pillows galore.

There must have been at least 30 pillows to choose from. And really how could we tell which ones we preferred? There was no bed to lie down on and rest our heads on the pillows. So we squeezed and guessed and imagined which one would work for us. And then I read the packaging and decided that the one labeled "Eco-friendly" must be the one for me. No feathers. Just husks. And supposedly good for the environment too.

Pillow shopping has become a complicated business nowadays. There's all the pillows to chose from, the protectors to weed through and then your pillowcases'  threadcount and fabric color. Well we've now made enough choices to last the year.

After all that, I wonder if we made the right choices. I hope so cuz I'm not going through that all over again. I say let's keep it basic, ok guys?

Wow…It’s Been a Year!

That’s right. Today is Forgetful After Fifty’s first birthday. And boy has it been year. At last count, there were over 85 posts and over 4,000 pageviews. And I’m also proud to report that the blog has traveled all around the world to English-speaking countries as well as non-English speaking countries.

But you, my readers, are what have made Forgetful After Fifty a success. Your support has inspired me to write another post and then yet another one. And I’m amazed that you keep reading. You’re all better than Facebook friends.

I can’t tell you what direction my whimsical musings will take. But for certain I am grateful for the experience of writing for you.

With laughter,
Diane

Waiting for a Thunderstorm

These days we are in constant touch with weather.com. What's the temperature going to be? What's the forecast for storms? Will it be humid and what will the heat index be? Or are we under another excessive heat advisory, or maybe a tornado watch, or are we just expecting another late afternoon shower?
 
I've always kinda been into weather since I've lived on the East Coast. There isn't much weather in Southern California. Somehow day after day of sunny and 75 degrees doesn't count in the weather drama department. But boy is it different here in the Mid-Atlantic. We've got drama and disasters here.
 
So I've become a weather geek of sorts. Don't have any degrees or formal education. It's just entertainment to me. And now the advent of global warming makes it really exciting. We've got severe weather almost all the time.
 
But really, I'm very concerned about climate change and what we all are going to do about it. We're driving less, and I'd like our next car to be a hybrid. Somehow I don't think that's enough. I just hope we all figure out what will be enough and then do it. Because if the weather is any indication, I think Mother Nature is really miffed.

Why I Tip Well

Ok, I believe in tipping well. It all goes back to my grandfather Sam. Sam was the kind of man who took care of the people who took care of him. And he did more than just say thank you. He put money in the palm of your hand. The arrangement was, if you took care of Sam, Sam took care of you.

I'm Sam's granddaughter in the ways of tipping. For me it's not just a pay supplement to low wages. It's also a way to show gratitude for services that in most cases are above and beyond the call of duty. In many ways service people are your short-term contract employees for a meal, haircut, or a manicure. But above all else a tip shows gratitude for the service and to varying degrees your satisfaction with their performance.

Today I tipped the grocery delivery driver who brought my groceries into the kitchen for me. It was over 100 degrees outside, and I appreciated his work ethic. His job was far from easy or comfortable. So I tipped him. I may never see him again. I rarely get the same delivery driver. But I guess I gave him a handsome tip as an offering to karma or just to the gods and goddesses that govern gratitude.

Sam would have approved and smiled.

Go Serena, Go!!!

Serena, you're playing great tennis. And you've earned your place as a finalist at Wimbledon this year. Listening to you talk about yourself and tennis, you've matured beyond belief, and I like you even better.

For a while there you acted like a gifted and spoiled brat who had become accustomed to winning and being a champion. But now you've changed. Maybe your life-threatening illness woke you up to an awareness of gratitude for your blessed life. Because finally you seem grateful for the privilege to play professional tennis.

I've seen you play at the US Open, and you are a marval to watch. You are my second all time favorite tennis player (with Martina being my first and foremost). My hopes are with you as you play the championship match at Wimbledon this Saturday.

Go baby, go. We'll be watching and rooting for you. Just play your best game, and you'll be wonderful.

A State of Emergency

Day 1

Bad thunderstorms swept through our town, and we lost our power. That means no air-conditioning, and the days have been in the triple digits. So it’s hot. But I count us as lucky. We have a hotel room for now. We both have medical conditions, such as a history of heat stroke and breathing difficulties.

We had to leave the kitties at home. We check on them in the evening, and they are fine and happy to see us. Our house isn't an oven; thank gawd. Don't know about tomorrow. It could break 100 degrees.

We know what time it is by when we have our meals. I just want to avoid people and stay calm, quiet and as cool as possible. It’s just all about taking care of Kathleen and myself. Don't want to be a burden to anyone.

Morning, Day 2

Another hot day. I wake up early for a Sunday. It’s only 76 degrees at 6 am. So I order breakfast from room service and wake up Kathleen when it arrives. We drink coffee, and I try to keep busy in an air-conditioned room that is getting smaller and smaller. And I remind myself that I'm one of the lucky ones. I’ll gladly pay for this luck.

I wonder if the federal government will shut down or go on liberal leave. I don't really want to spend the day alone in a hotel room. Maybe Kathleen will work remotely. I hope so. I really hope so.

Siesta time, Day 2

We've grown bored with living in a hotel. The hotel staff has been wonderful and very kind, but I long for our home and the cats. It’s just not the same without the cats around bothering us and meowing at us.

I’m watching more TV than is probably healthy for a normal person. But it helps to pass the time. And now it’s all about passing the time---the time until we get power.
Around 6 pm we'll go visit the cats and pick up a few things for our stay at the hotel. After we check on our house (do we or don't we have power?), we'll go out to dinner either in the hotel or somewhere that has power. Because it’s all about who's got the power nowadays, right!?!?

Evening, Day 2

We have power! Came to the house to check on the kitties and get some clothes, and everything looked dark. The houses looked dark, the street looked dark and even some of the medical office buildings looked dark. But lo and behold, I unlocked the front door, and lights were on and a fan was on. What a blessed sight.

Kathleen and I are very grateful for the hotel room and then getting our power back so soon. We've been lucky, and now I wonder what purposes I could put our good luck toward in addition to our own well-being. Something I'm going to ponder about.

Thanks to my dear friends for all your support and kind words. It helps so much to know that you're out there.