The Weird People

You probably have a few in your life. They're usually artistic and creative in some way. Often they're hobbyists. But nevertheless they're artists or crafters. They're the poets, the painters, the writers, the musicians or the arts and crafts people (who get their start at stores like Michaels.) They're the weird people.

When you are reading, looking at, or hearing their work, you almost believe in possession again. These artists must have a muse or some connection to a higher power because their work is the outcome of apparent channelling. Sometimes the channelling is clear, bright and strong and other times it's like a backed-up drain. But you know when the artist has got the power in addition to the skill and technique.

I've felt the power a few times when I've been painting or writing. But unfortunately I couldn't channel it like I wanted to. One needs to be trained and have skills and a technique to convert the power.

So like playing scales on the piano every day, I write as much as I can so I'm ready for the flow when it happens. Because we weird people are connected to something...dare I say that comes and goes... and is sometimes even spiritual?!?!

Losing Weight Without Losing My Mind

I've got to give credit to my Grandma Fay. She was a pioneer in eating healthy in the days when you were considered a "nut case" for juicing fruits and vegetables. Well, she taught me how to eat healthy; she made me juices and salads both fruit and vegetable. We even walked to the grocery store. Grandma Fay lived to 93; I'd just like to lose some weight.

And as many of you know it's not easy to lose weight. I've got myself an ideal situation. I can make losing weight my main purpose in life. I'll shop for groceries, eat healthy and exercise on the treadmill. And go to weekly meetings at Weight Watchers. Kinda of a narrow and a bit repetitive. But so necessary for my health. I'm diving into this after years of denial. It's a problem that you can't hide. And I FINALLY am doing something about it.

I take it on one day at a time. 1500 calories a day. Sometime a meal at a time. Counting calories. Finding ways to fill full without stuffing myself like a glutton.

I drink a lot of water. The fancy Italian type that has bubbles. About 64 ounces a day. It sure beats diet coke and I actually feel hydrated. It tastes better than tap water too. It's expensive but so was 8 cans of diet coke a day.

We even got a talking scale. So there's no fudging it.

So away we go...I hope I'll work out how to eat on this diet and I won't be so obsessed with dieting and losing weight because, you know, I've got so much more to do with my life.

Taking Lessons

As many of you know I have begun taking piano (or keyboard) lessons. I have employed an excellent teacher who has taught piano and vocal music at prestigious private schools in the DC area. He is in between school teaching gigs and so I'm lucky to have gotten him.

I've only had five lessons so far. I'm learning about scales, chords, intervals, harmonics and melodies. But mostly I learning to dive into this ocean known as music and to swim. Sometimes my feeble brain doesn't work and my hands don't seem connected to what my eyes are reading. Oh, that's right I'm learning to read music. It's a language all of its own.

I find this all very fascinating. And I'm in love with playing on my keyboard. My keyboard is no baby grand piano but she's perfect for me right now. She sits on a stand that Kathleen got for me and put together for me too. My keyboard is only a step or two away from my chair that I spend most of my time sitting in. So my keyboard is close to me and definitely within eyeshot.

The funny thing about taking music lessons is that all of a sudden you start hearing music differently. You start to get inside the music. And it becomes so much richer when you discover that there is something called music theory.

Right now I can barely tell you which note is which. But I'm learning and my brain is re-wiring itself too. I've got some rhythm but mostly the beat goes on without me. Tempo can be the hardest thing to learn and internalize.

But I love learning to play the piano. I can't remember why I ever stopped when I was young. I guess I didn't have to work that hard to get the lessons. This time around I convinced everyone in my life that taking lessons was what I wanted to do. Well, I think I convinced everyone else and myself too!!! 

It's the Hot Part of the Day

Everyone but me is laying down now. It's Sunday afternoon and 2 ish. I just went over to a friend's for brunch and got an introduction to her new cat. Truman is his name. He's quite handsome and playful. He'll fill out his presidential name in no time. He's smart too. He knows his name which is unusual in cats. Any which way he's a love.

Cats have preoccupied me for some time now. I blame Kathleen and her love of cats for this. What else does one do when you live with a cat goddess and in a cat shrine. I've gone with the flow and am now a bewitched member of the staff (to the cats only.) I don't feel very alone since Facebook is filled with cats and kittens on every other page. Cats are definitely in fashion (for the moment at least.)

Here in the Capitol where our celebs are presidents and our causes are political, most of my friends have given their cats names of this locale. One friend I know named her pair of cats Bill and Hilary. Another friend Truman and we in protest to a boycott on French imports and the Iraq war named ours Perrier and Evian. I tell you even the cats are political here in DC.

I can't tell you when exactly I became a crazy cat lady. I think I "came out" as one at my father's funeral. My cousin asked me what I know about and in my crazy grief-stricken state i said "CATS!!!" I do spend a lot of time in the care and bonding of our cats, but I'm no expert. Just crazy about them, don't cha think?

A Fabulous 4th of July

Early this afternoon when the skies were clear (for a moment) I looked out my glass screen door and saw two little boys putting mini American flags on everyone's front lawn. I looked up my street and saw flapping flags and thought that I'm now a part of this America not just some disenfranchised minority without rights and who is barely tolerated to exist.

Things have now changed. I have the right to openly serve my country and to marry whom I love. Progress indeed. Now if the rest of the country will only grant the right to marry for everyone, our country will be even a better place to be a citizen. Momentum is with us LGBT. The future is ours if not only a little way in the distance. So in the meanwhile have yourself a FABULOUS and HAPPY 4th!!! Because we earned it.

A Puzzling Process

For my birthday present to myself I got a membership for myself and Kathleen to the Phillips Collection which is the first modern art museum. The Phillips Collection is located in DC and is both housed in a lovely and intimate setting for a museum.

The Collection has many wonderful paintings. Their prize painting is Renoir's Luncheon for a Boat Party which I have seen several times. It's the kind of painting that makes a visual imprint in one's memory. While I may not remember this painting in all of its glorious detail, I definitely remember its feel. So one night when I was casting about to buy a jigsaw puzzle, I came upon this painting as one. I purchased it immediately and it has arrived via UPS. It's produced by Pigment and Hue and sold by WonderCat Inc. Perfect for me.

I've wanted to do something quiet and meditative like a puzzle for a long time. Now that my studio is more or less in order, I can devote my drafting table to the puzzle. Yet I have paused. I have not opened the shipping box the puzzle was shipped in and I've lost momentum. Can I not do a puzzle and piano lessons at the same time?

That's what happens when you have too much time, sometimes you get less done than if you were busy. You know the saying "If you want to get something done, give it to a busy person!"

So considering that maybe I'll open the box today...

Recycling Computers for a Better Planet

Tomorrow a company is coming to our house to pick up our old computers and their parts. We put off doing this even though the computers are beyond use as computers (they're pre internet and broken down laptops) It's amazing how much space they have taken up. But I've made the call and Turtlewings is coming tomorrow (for a fee of course.)

I also have my sights on our bookshelves. We have three in the living room which contain fiction, reference, art, and cookbooks. Only keeping the reference, art and cookbooks. The fiction goes because nowadays we do e-books. I'm keeping some of the books so that music doesn't bounce around off the walls but mostly the books are going to a used bookstore, Friends of the Library.

Next we are going through our drawers and closets. I figure it won't be too hard to part with winter clothes.

All of this is about lightening our load and de-cluttering our home. Our house presently is stuffed after living in it for 13 years. It's time to unload a little. Cause have you ever noticed that more comes in than goes out?

A Couple's Table Talk

Well, Kathleen and I had some fun freaking out a young straight couple who were sitting next to us at brunch this afternoon. We ordered and then talked about what we were going to do with our house. Things like gable repairs, buying a new TV, upholstery the living room furniture. You know stuff "couples" talk about before launching into their next purchases. Well the couple next to us looked aghast and went silent.

Guess they had never been that close to two out, open lesbian old biddies before. You know, you all better get use to it. We're no longer going to keep a low-profile for your comfort zone or illusions that we live in an exclusive straight society. As we chanted at rallies at UCLA in my day, "We're gay and we're here to stay!"

It's a Birthday Month

I always liked the month of June. It's a little warmer than May but not yet the blazing heat of July or August. Then there's summer solstice or Midsummer's Night for the Shakespeare buffs. And yes, there's my birthday too.

Usually we party for the entire week that my birthday falls in. This year we started in May while vacationing in LA. And now this week I've been gifted with a piano bench and keyboard stand which I love!!!

I'm a lucky girl indeed!!! I even got my house cleaned. But the best gifts I got are the ones I gave myself. I am now a member with Kathleen to the Phillips Collection, the first modern art museum. And I also got some Tibetan Prayer Wind Chimes for our cherry tree. (Something melodious to listen to when I'm resting my mind...)

Seems like there are a lot of June babies out there. As far as it goes, just more good people to party with. And I can't say how the rest of the month is going to go but I guess the month of June is just going to be one big long party!!!

I guess I've graduated to the birthday month club. Only took me 52 years.

Limbo Land

We are slowly re-entering our lives here in Silver Spring after our vacation to LA. We slept like rocks last night and I woke up to make coffee at 10 am EST. I'm somewhere between West Coast and East Coast time. Maybe I'm somewhere in Chicago. Anyway the clock is really meaningless. We're in limbo land. I feel for Kathleen; she's planning on going to work tomorrow. This coming east is just so much more difficult and in so many ways too.

I've only stuck my head out the door to accept the chinese food that was delivered for lunch. We ate a little. Dinner will be easy.

Sorry this all isn't as exciting as the vacation. Limbo Land rarely is thrilling. And I feel a little spacey too. Maybe we'll both be a bit more focused and active tomorrow. See ya then.

A French Open Hat

I like hats. Well I love hats. Not that I look stunning or handsome or pretty in them. They just lend so much character to a person. Sure it's a prop but so what's wrong with props? For me hats are playful and with the right hat you can become anything (at first sight!) But really we all need the sun protection so we might as well have fun with what might become a necessity soon.

My current hat I got in LA at the Grove. I was looking for a copy of all those hats the spectators at the French Open (tennis) had worn. The hats were off white, had a band of ribbon, were wide brimmed and made out of straw. And of course these hats when cocked at the right angle were quite dapper. I didn't get an exact copy but close enough. I guess I felt like I was following Parisian fashion even though I got it at the world's center of make-believe.

And you know this French Open hat thing is taking off. I've seen the hats in all different kinds of colors and on all different kinds of people: men, women, young and older. People seem to want to play again with hats.

So get yourself a hat and come out and play. We'll all be so dapper...

Inbetweens

I've got a case of the inbetweens. I'm inbetween projects whether it be writing or painting. I'm inbetween finding a piano teacher---I got one and then decided she sounded weird on the phone. Jitters I guess. But I let her go even before we started. Today's prospective piano teacher is a former music teacher and a neighbor--- hope it works out otherwise I've got to start from scratch again. So you see I'm inbetween.

I'm inbetween being a middle-age or older person. Even my therapist was surprised that I wanted to start something new like learn to play the piano. "It's always something new with you!", she says. Guess so, I mean I'm not brain dead, I'm still taking in nourishment and breathing on a regular basis. Yup, I'm still alive. Just because I don't have a paying job or a career anymore doesn't mean I disappear, you know...

Despite my limitations I've always been a passionate person. And being inbetween life purposes is hard to bear at times. But I've taken it upon myself to make it my purpose to enjoy this beautiful month of May. Sounds kinda light, don't cha think? Well actually, this is the first time in my life that I've been in a spiritual place to really enjoy May. Before I wasn't calm or still enough to appreciate how beautiful May is.

So you've got a couple of weeks left to enjoy May. Heck, you've even got a three-day weekend. Catch the beauty while you can because it truly is fleeting...

Saturday Nights Then and Now

Saturday night is the one night where we are usually free from work and still have Sunday to recover from our foolishness on Saturday. When I was young I engaged in a lot of foolishness on Saturday nights. I loved the discos in my youth. Gay discos that were wild, sensual and crowded. I remember the press of sweaty bodies on the dance floor. We didn't really dance; we swayed to the beat like some underwater creature swimming in the ocean depths. Well I had fun. Sure I drank too much and well did too much of everything too. But we were young and it was "Saturday Night!"

Now I'm over 50 and settled down with my partner of 17 years. What do we do on Saturday nights? When we're "up for it", we go out for sushi and then come home to jazz on my iPhone while we play Words With Friends and Farmville 2 on our respective laptops. Kathleen, my partner, may also be knitting and I'll be wondering whatever will my writers group think of my screenplay treatment.

When I was young I was hot. Now I'm cooler than the jazz we listen to. But all of this is ok. For a while I wanted my youthful Saturday nights back. But I'm okay now with those days being pleasant memories. Nowadays I'm content, calm and peaceful. Just right. Oh, the jazz we listen to is from an app called Jazzbird. It's free and cool too. Check it out some Saturday night...

I Love May

I just love the month of May, don't you? It's just so beautiful. The weather is mostly perfect and everything is in bloom. Just perfect.

I even have fond memories of my Ex's birthday on the 27th. And my birthday is almost only a week away from hers. It's just a good month to be alive.

I especially like all the spring greenery and we can't forget the outdoor patio seating that opens up in restaurants. Food just tastes better outdoors. I know you think I'm being silly but food really does taste better outdoors. Why else would people do picnics?

And then everyone looks a lot more healthy in May than in February. The improvement is almost shocking. Sure we are all just starting to eat salad again and talk about losing weight. And we are also getting out of the chair or off of the couch. We might even start exercising again like we did when we were younger. I mean Kathleen almost had us buying a recumbent bike off the street from a yard sale today. I'm really not ready for more exercise equipment but this is definitely progress, don't cha think?

And for Kathleen and I the tennis season begins soon and that means we're booked for the summer. First we'll watch the French Open in late May. Next Wimbledon in late June. And finally the US Open around Labor Day.

May is absolutely the beginning of the glorious summer months. Lots of warmth and sunshine. What's not to love?

The Black and White Keys

I had some music education my first year in high school. I went over to my best friend's (and later my first crush) house and sat down at her family's baby grand piano. It was lovely. And my best friend at 14 taught me to read music and peck out a melody to sing.

I was never really any good. But just good enough to sing alto in the high school concert choir. I barely auditioned and got into the choir. So I sang with the altos and my best friend sang with the sopranos. More than notes separated us now. She had slept over and I made a "pass" that was rebuffed. So afterwards, I didn't go to her piano anymore. Instead, I ding-dong my father to get us our own.

I don't know how my mother and I did it but we convinced my father to buy a beautiful upright piano that to this day still has a wonderful sound and looks like an attractive piece of furniture. And so, both my mother and I took piano lessons from this suburban lady. She was nice and my guide into mysterious lands and adventures. I studied for almost 2 years. My interests changed to getting into college and without my best friend's encouraging hands guiding my hands over the keys, my interest just waned.

But I still loved to play this one piece, Moonlight Sonata. I even memorized the easy version and played it for my Grandma Fay (she was the jewish one). Now you must understand that Grandma Fay was very frank with her opinions. After I finished playing she said, "Very nice, but could you play something a little happier?" I was floored. I thought I was all grown-up and serious. Now Grandma Fey wants silly and happy! Adults! Who can understand them!"

It's been now over 30 years since I tried to play the piano. But I've been wanting one. Couldn't afford an upright so I got a keyboard. I hope again to play with the help and guidance of a piano teacher. This one is a gift to myself. Totally for me!!!

Early Spring

Yesterday was St. Paddy's day and in two days will be the Vernal Equinox. Is Spring really here? This morning when I was wiping the dusting of last night's snow off my windshield I wasn't quite so sure. I mean I live below the Mason-Dixon line and definitely not up "north". But March is a dicey month for weather in these parts. At least we've got longer days of light when it isn't raining and overcast.

But enough about the weather. I feel Spring. And the early blooming cherry tree across the road from my house is in a shock of pink. I open my front door and look up and there it is in all its majesty. And then there's all those little perky crocuses across my front lawn. Baby flowers but they are brave enough to weather the still near-freezing nights. And then there's all the budding trees casting dots of color against still bare tree limbs.

All of these are the first signs of early Spring outside. Inside our houses we start to clean (or in my case call-in the cleaning people). The bright white sunlight on clear days inspires us to even de-clutter the most messy rooms (for me that's my studio----I'm still waiting for a day over 60 degrees and sunny. Think I'll get that day soon?)

Soon all the flowers and trees will be in bloom. We'll have another Cherry Blossum Festival. And just maybe I'll get to see the Kite Festival on the Mall too.

But most of all Spring is a wonderful time for renewal (and I hear a great time to eat chocolate bunnies too!!!!) Maybe I'll take photos of this Spring. Just something to remind me when its grey and wet and raw outside.

Never Been Good at Spelling

I love music and I listen to it constantly but I've never been good at spelling. I'll even confess to getting bad marks to it in grade school. So what have I done about it? I've read dictionaries. I've even collected them. I'm very proud of my two volume Oxford English Dictionary that has such small print it is accompanied with a magnifying glass which now I use all the time.

And lo and behold there's now an online game for my problem. Scrabble or Facebook's Words With Friends is perfect for me. It's a word game, a spelling game and sorta a crossword game. And I love games. When I was younger I loved to win. Now I just love to play.

I've been playing Facebook's Words With Friends for a couple of weeks now. I've been playing mostly with my former colleagues and a dear cousin too. I never knew how brillant they all were. And my dear Kathleen has started playing too. They all beat me but I just love the game. And the more I play the better I get. I actually got a seven-letter word yesterday.

So of course I bought the Scrabble dictionary. I'll be reading it. Just to bone up on those hard letters to use and all the two-letter words.

In the meanwhile we all play. Kathleen and I played for almost the entire weekend. Hey, it's a great thing to do when it's cold outside. We listened to all nine of Beethoven's Symphonies while we played so we weren't lacking in culture either.

Is this a beginning of a craze or maybe this winter's fad? Either way, I'm having a blast!!!

Being One's Own Brand

When I was coming out in the 80's, we all wanted to look like lesbians because it was important for us to be able to identify each other. Well, it seems to me that our look practically became a brand with cars, shoes, hairstyles and clothiers all associated with lesbians (or at least they were to ourselves.) We happily IDed each other and built a system of recognition that helped give us visibility to the media and the mainstream. And finally, we are getting more and more of our civil rights.

So what's wrong?

I for one got tired of looking like every other lesbian. I wanted an individual identity and "look" instead of the group brand.

So I'm breaking away from the brand. First hair styles changed, next shoes and clothes and maybe I'll consider buying a car that's not stereotypically a "lesbian car" like a Subaru.

Now there are risks with breaking away from the brand. No one at first sight may recognize me as gay. I remedy that by telling them. It means a lot more coming out. But I get to look like I want.

So I guess I'm breaking away from the lesbian brand. Instead I'm creating my own brand for myself.

I'm calling this new brand "Diane."

What's The Weather Like

You might say I'm percolating. No I'm not making coffee. I'm making something creative. And as a writer it's not just putting language down on the page. Oh that's important, some would say critical. But the creative process also involves the often unseen "inner" work beforehand.

For me my mood and my writing is heavily influenced by the weather. Basically I've never left the sunny weather of Southern California. It suppose to be 75 degrees and sunny. That's my inner norm. Everything else is something "different." While living in Washington, DC we've had blizzards, hurricanes, tornados and the ever occurant thunderstorms. And then the ordinary days of rain, sleet, snow, hail and wind (with an occasionally sunny day). So you see I've had a lot of different moods from all that weather.

All this DC weather has made me a more interesting person. I believe that the 75F and sunny weather of Southern California would have have lacked inspiration. (The sheer predictability, you know?!?!?) I only really long for LA weather when its in the teens and snowing 2 feet from a blizzard.

So it's almost the end of winter and the time of rebirth is almost upon us. Spring offers all sorts of new energies and opportunities. My hibernation and "percolating" will be done for a few months.

I'm looking forward to seeing what comes up this spring. And of course what's the weather like.

Misfit or Popular Kid?

Have you ever been popular? Did you run with the popular kids in high school or in college? I hung out with the misfits in high school only to find myself as a popular lesbian in college.

My experience as a misfit taught me to live my life on my own terms. So that when I came out as gay I was emotionally prepared to be my own person. And to hell with everyone else and their petty small-mindedness anyway.

So that's how it went with me. When I came of age at 22 and as a popular lesbian, my devil-may-care attitude made me a little dangerous (and a little desirable too.) But mostly, being a popular and out lesbian meant I didn't have a lot of competition. It wasn't like lesbians were rushing sororities in those days. We only had gay and lesbian groups and newspapers. And I was the editor of one of those newspapers. My position gave me some visibility and a vehicle for my thoughts.

Those years of popularity made an impression on my young psyche. I "believed" myself likable, desireable and intelligent. I had no idea how vain I was. I just thought I was confident. Actually, it was like I went through an "ego-building boot camp" that would help me endure the hostilities that I would encounter outside the UCLA campus and the world beyond.

But the one thing I still have from those popular days is a personal sense of specialness. Everyone should be popular for a while just to feel that special. And if we're lucky that special feeling lasts a lifetime.

While We Wait

I'm losing track of which day it is. It happens in retirement or so I've heard from the old timers. I'm not worried about losing track too badly because I have Kathleen who is working Monday through Friday every week. Kinda keeps me on track, if you know what I mean. Any way this is coming off as very spacey which is not my intention. Just my unfortunate effect.

Winter...I never get over it or in any way master the season. The climate brings me to my knees and the psychology of living with people who are confined for months would inspire me to art if I wasn't so depressed and just downright emotionally cold. But that's the climate here in the Mid-Atlantic. It's given to extremes. No wonder the local people are stoic and act like soldiers.

I've never been a soldier. On my mother's side of our family, my grandfather died in WWII and has been the last in a long line of soldiers dating back from the American Revolution. So I guess I've got soldiering in my genes but not in my heart.

So when Spring arrives I write and when the light is good, I paint abstract art. I hope to express myself well, humourously, and to a few of your likings.

But in the meanwhile I wait for March. March is the beginning of my new creative year. And It can't get here soon enough!!!

Weather in Paradise

These cold temps just freak me out. I was born and raised in Southern California where it very rarely dipped below freezing temps (and when they did we all worried about the fruit and vegetable crops---would they survive?) Here it is skating around feeling like 0 degrees this morning. Damn cold where you get frostbite if you're exposed for a spell. But everyone says it is "Just Cold!!!" and it is the only topic of the news for today and tomorrow.

Okay, so I'll bundle up and go out when I must but it is so uncomfortable. I guess I'm just a "weather wimp." because I remember what the weather was like in paradise.

It was 82 degrees in LA yesterday.

Passing on the Role of Cinderella

Yup, Obama is going to be sworn in Monday January 21th. But geez that election was waaay too close for my comfort zone. But now the partying begins. We got invites to 3 Balls and 1 Gala which sounds wonderful. But I'm afraid we are going to have to pass on all of them.

These Balls are major fund-raising events. Basically, you spend a small fortune to go to their party. It's a huge social networking opportunity if you're into politics or life in DC, Virginia or Maryland. Since we don't get out much and mostly interface with the world through our laptops and credit cards, I'm thinking that we can pass on the opportunity for facetime with the DC social elite.

Quite frankly the Women's Ball in 97' that Kathleen and I attended was somewhat disappointing. President Clinton didn't show up. And while we looked fabulous in white tuxedos, other people just dressed up a little or just more of the DC drab attire. We left the event unimpressed and bored. So we're not eager to repeat the experience.

If only we were Cinderella and this was all a fairy tale...